I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
