All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
