you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
