Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
