I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
