Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
