I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
