Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
