Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Be still, my beating vagina.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
