I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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