I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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