I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize