I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Randomize
