I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
