someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize