God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
