Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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