I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
