I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
