hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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