Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize