A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
