She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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