i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
