So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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