just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
