what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize