So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
