I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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