Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
