why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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