Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
