it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
