you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
