Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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