apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
