Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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