I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
