I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
