Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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