To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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