i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I think my moral compass just broke
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