Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
