i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
