If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
