I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
