i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
