I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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