Sponge bath it is.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
