Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
