i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
