I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
