He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
