I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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