the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize