she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
