You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
