I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The uberlube is also flammable
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
