Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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