I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
