Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
