I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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