I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
