Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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