She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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