I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We left an ass print on the piano.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I have aggressive nipples.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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