I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
