There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
