The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
