i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize