If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
