My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
