I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I lost the right to judge tonight
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
