I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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