As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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