so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
