Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
