Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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