We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
