This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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