I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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