I love black thongs
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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