...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
