6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize