You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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