every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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