Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
